the "things you wish you could say" thread

[kaysixteen]

As to 'stellar contributors', the overwhelming percentage of them I have come up with as an answer are old-time pros from the old fora who have not migrated over here (and, thus, because of the anonymous nature of these and the old fora alike, those not having chosen to migrate here are for the most part lost to us who might want to PM and chat, unless they should appear and make themselves known, sadly).

Names that come to my mind include larry_c, anthroid, john_proctor, the late great prytania, tenured_feminist, daniel_von_flanagan, pollymer, of course the late mamselle, current posters marshwiggle, apl,  quasihumanist,and spork.  Give me some more time and I could probably think of some more...

[eigen]

FWIW, I keep up with several of the people on your list of people who didn't migrate over, each for their own reasons.

[apl68]

So, Windstream, last week you told us that this Friday we'd have a service team on hand to, at long last, perform that upgrade that we contracted for a year or so ago.  Why am I not the very least bit surprised to see your e-mail today saying that it has been postponed until the 17th of next month?  Why do I find myself wondering whether the claim that the work would be done this week was never made in good faith to start with?

And so we continue, a small-town public library that patrons depend on for internet access, unable to assure them that our internet service won't flake out on them in the middle of an online exam or other important business.

[FishProf]

My dude, I would suggest some serious self-reflection, but if you were capable of that, we wouldn't be here now, would we?

[little bongo]

Congratulations on the SSDI--that's a big thing to have settled. And thanks for the reply on the "stellar" posters--with regard to current posters, I think I'm in 75% agreement. The ones I remember from the past (somewhat fuzzily), I would certainly agree they knew their stuff, while in a couple of cases, I would try to avoid them due to attitude and tone. All well and good--for some of us, attitude is more important than for others, and I would have to admit that good advice nastily given is superior to poor advice kindly given.

For what it's worth, with regard to this current wave of anti-K16 feeling, while I haven't always agreed with you, I've never known you to go completely off-topic, so I'm not sure where that accusation is coming from. As for the "dear" stuff--yes, I somewhat understand why that bothers some folks, although it doesn't particularly faze me.

Can this fora benefit from my own experiences going forward? Maybe. There's the 14 years of modest teaching experience at my modest R2. There's fostering then adopting 3 special-needs siblings--they've been with us 10 years now. There's my changing my anxiety meds from lexapro to... something. There's my late-diagnosis autism. So, in one or more of those capacities, I might share some more where appropriate.

[the_geneticist]

My dude, I would suggest some serious self-reflection, but if you were capable of that, we wouldn't be here now, would we?

This applies to so many situations!

[secundem_artem]

So here we go again with the cool kids wanting to kick the weird kid out of the clubhouse.  Like littlebongo pointed out up thread, it happened to mahagonny a while back and I think that poster was also on double secret probation under their former handle on the old fora.

Kay - you seem like someone who values higher education the way it was some time ago.  In some ways I agree with you on some of your pet hobby horses.  In my case, Seeing undergraduates at commencement weighed down with a dozen cords, stoles, and other "hey mom look at me" accoutrements drives me nuts.So kay, You do you, I'll do me and the world will keep turning.

And for those of you who feel the need to block or banish, all I can say is that this site is about as exciting as a nursing home lounge while the residents engage in a post prandial nap.  Dozens of interesting and valued previous forumites did not migrate over and there are only a dozen or so very active members who keep this place from just fading away.  Some of them - likely to include Kay, the dismal one, and maybe marshie run a couple of standard deviations away from the mean.  Which is part of what gives this place such limited interest and sense of community that it has.

[/rant]

[Vkw10]

"Across the board 5% budget cut" is not an invitation to propose new initiatives that require new funding. We could fund it by eliminating all non-tenure track faculty, with the tenured faculty teaching one more section each.

[kaysixteen]

Could you not cancel the contract and get your money back?

[kaysixteen]

It is perhaps interesting to realize that the eldest members of the Baby on Board generation are now c. 40 years old-- at 18, in 1986, I actually worked a summer retail job at a long-dead chain, and in July all of sudden I showed up one day to discover an endcap in the auto section laden with these diamond-shaped suction-cupped hang tags for the rear window.   Things like 'my child is student of the month at Mediocre Elementary School' stickers appeared soon thereafter, all of a sudden.   Because the idea of putting one of these awful things on your car would not have occurred to my parents (b. 1936, 1940), and we can only imagine what our grandparents would have thought.  Fast forward to graduations, and the notion that one is graduating *with a class*. and that the ceremony is *not all about you*, well... we can vehemently disagree with the recent decisions of NYU and GWU to each seek to withhold diplomas from graduation speakers who chose to make pro-Palestinian, or more accurately overtly anti-Israel, remarks in their student commencement addresses, and I mean *vehemently disagree* with said decisions, without thinking it is somehow not ok for schools to set up a dress code for these functions.   One that includes prohibitions on any alteration of the graduation attire (hence no having to make ad hoc awkward decisions as to what to do with kid who shows up with 'F*ck you, Professor Hardass' taped on his mortar board.)

[dismalist]

It is perhaps interesting to realize that the eldest members of the Baby on Board generation are now c. 40 years old-- at 18, in 1986, I actually worked a summer retail job at a long-dead chain, and in July all of sudden I showed up one day to discover an endcap in the auto section laden with these diamond-shaped suction-cupped hang tags for the rear window.   Things like 'my child is student of the month at Mediocre Elementary School' stickers appeared soon thereafter, all of a sudden.   Because the idea of putting one of these awful things on your car would not have occurred to my parents (b. 1936, 1940), and we can only imagine what our grandparents would have thought.  Fast forward to graduations, and the notion that one is graduating *with a class*. and that the ceremony is *not all about you*, well... we can vehemently disagree with the recent decisions of NYU and GWU to each seek to withhold diplomas from graduation speakers who chose to make pro-Palestinian, or more accurately overtly anti-Israel, remarks in their student commencement addresses, and I mean *vehemently disagree* with said decisions, without thinking it is somehow not ok for schools to set up a dress code for these functions.   One that includes prohibitions on any alteration of the graduation attire (hence no having to make ad hoc awkward decisions as to what to do with kid who shows up with 'F*ck you, Professor Hardass' taped on his mortar board.)

Reminds me, K-16, of the advent of the bumper sticker nonsense. I would have had printed then, as I could now, "I am the proud parent of a graduate of Leavenworth Penitentiary".

[little bongo]

So here we go again with the cool kids wanting to kick the weird kid out of the clubhouse.  Like littlebongo pointed out up thread, it happened to mahagonny a while back and I think that poster was also on double secret probation under their former handle on the old fora.

Kay - you seem like someone who values higher education the way it was some time ago.  In some ways I agree with you on some of your pet hobby horses.  In my case, Seeing undergraduates at commencement weighed down with a dozen cords, stoles, and other "hey mom look at me" accoutrements drives me nuts.So kay, You do you, I'll do me and the world will keep turning.

And for those of you who feel the need to block or banish, all I can say is that this site is about as exciting as a nursing home lounge while the residents engage in a post prandial nap.  Dozens of interesting and valued previous forumites did not migrate over and there are only a dozen or so very active members who keep this place from just fading away.  Some of them - likely to include Kay, the dismal one, and maybe marshie run a couple of standard deviations away from the mean.  Which is part of what gives this place such limited interest and sense of community that it has.

[/rant]

Stellar response, secunden artem.

[Langue_doc]

For what it's worth, with regard to this current wave of anti-K16 feeling, while I haven't always agreed with you, I've never known you to go completely off-topic, so I'm not sure where that accusation is coming from. As for the "dear" stuff--yes, I somewhat understand why that bothers some folks, although it doesn't particularly faze me.

See the lengthy discussion on the lab coat policy where the poster was venting about their TA wanting to know what to do with Stu who showed up minus lab coat, despite institutional policy that was repeatedly announced in class. The forumite, in charge of the labs, was berated for her supposedly hard-nosed policy which she and other faculty were required to follow. It was assumed that the forumite was a young woman who needed the advice of the supposedly "wise and experienced" male. She was also asked how old she was. The discussion moved upthread (see #1711), and then here is #1719, which is in response to the very courteous post just above.

Congrats on your job security.  TAs do not have this, and adjuncts do not either.  Those TAs are also much younger and inexperienced than you are, with this producing the strong likelihood of fear.

Now of course 18yos are legally adults-- one of the worst policy decisions we have ever made as a country.  But this legal status is not biological or psychological status, and your '80s culture war scare tactic' remark just makes you look, ahem, incompetent.

I flagged this post, and suspect that others might have done the same.

As for being unfazed about the "dear" stuff, pardon me if I'm wrong, but I suspect that you've never been the recipient of being addressed as "dear" on the Fora, where the "dear" is clearly meant to show the poster's contempt and disdain for the person being addressed. Some of the forumites who've been addressed in this fashion have found it insulting, and for good reason. Many of us treat this space as a professional environment, and not a place where you freely sling insults at fellow forumites.

My freshpeeps know better than to conduct themselves this way, as they go over the six rules of class discussions (America Now, ed. Robert Atwan). Here is Rule #5:

5. Avoid abusive or insulting language
Free and open discussion occurs only when we respect the beliefs and opinions of others. If we speak in ways that fail to show respect for differing viewpoints—if we resort to name-calling or use demeaning and malicious expressions, for example—not only do we embarrass ourselves, but we also close off the possibility for an intelligent and productive exchange of ideas. Contrary to what you might gather from some popular radio and television talk shows, shouting insults and engaging in hate speech are signs of verbal and intellectual bankruptcy. They are universally the last resort of someone who has nothing to say.

[marshwiggle]

And for those of you who feel the need to block or banish, all I can say is that this site is about as exciting as a nursing home lounge while the residents engage in a post prandial nap.  Dozens of interesting and valued previous forumites did not migrate over and there are only a dozen or so very active members who keep this place from just fading away. Some of them - likely to include Kay, the dismal one, and maybe marshie run a couple of standard deviations away from the mean.  Which is part of what gives this place such limited interest and sense of community that it has.

I'd love to see the fora histogram.

[EdnaMode]

An actual something I wish I could say...

Dear IRB people, for f*** sake, don't give the same form one name in one location and a totally different name in another location on your already hard to navigate website, then get all annoyed when I ask if the forms are the same thing.